How to Advocate for Yourself on the Water

Sailing is more than just a sport or a hobby—it’s about confidence, teamwork, and stepping into your own power.

Whether you’re new to boating or a seasoned sailor, advocating for yourself on the water is essential to building both your skills and your confidence.

Here’s how you can take charge of your boating journey and navigate challenges with confidence.

1. Understand Your Value

No matter your experience level, you bring unique skills to the boat. Maybe you’re great at staying calm under pressure, organizing gear, or noticing small details that others miss. Recognizing and celebrating these strengths will help you feel more capable and respected on board.

Try this:

“I notice I stay calm when the boat heels. How can I use this to support the crew?”

Or:

“I have an eye for detail, so I’ll double-check the safety gear—everyone has their strengths!”

2. Communicate Your Needs

Clear, respectful communication is key to advocating for yourself. If you’re uncertain about a maneuver, ask for clarification. If you’d like more time at the helm, express that in a way that invites collaboration.

Instead of:

“Can I have more time on the tiller?”

Try:

“I’d love to practice steering more during this trip. Can we work that into the plan?”

3. Speak Up About Safety

Safety is everyone’s responsibility. If something feels off, say so. Never hesitate to ask for a demonstration of safety gear or procedures.

Example:

“I’d like to do a quick check on the safety equipment before we head out, so that everyone knows its location on board” - (a good captain should do this anyway).

4. Take On New Challenges

Building confidence means stepping outside your comfort zone. If you haven’t taken the helm before, ask to try it. If you’re unfamiliar with a knot, ask to learn it.

Expanding your skills makes you a more capable sailor.

Example:

“I’d love to try steering the boat for a bit—can we go over what I should focus on?”

5. Overcome the Default Role of Deferring

It’s common in mixed-gender settings for women to step back and let men take the lead. But you have every right to take on key roles. Advocate for yourself, and don’t wait for permission to get involved.

Example:

“I’d like to start the engine today. I’m eager to get more hands-on with the boat.”

6. Be Proactive in Learning

Take every opportunity to ask questions and learn. The more you understand, the more confident you’ll feel.

Example:

“Could you show me how to use the GPS? I want to get comfortable with it before we head out.”

7. Use Your Leadership Skills to Support Others

Leadership isn’t just about giving orders—it’s about empowering your teammates. If you see someone unsure or stepping back, encourage them.

Example:

“You’ve got the skills to take this role. Let’s swap tasks so we both get more experience.”

8. Trust Your Instincts and Be OK with Saying No

If something feels wrong, trust your gut. You have the right to set boundaries and make decisions that ensure your safety and comfort.

Example:

“I’m not comfortable with this plan—can we revisit it together?”

9. Communication On Board - Key to Safety and Success

- Share the Plan – Before leaving the dock, go over the plan with the crew so everyone knows what to expect.

- Assign Roles – Clarify responsibilities ahead of time to avoid confusion.

- Foster Camaraderie – Open, transparent communication builds trust and teamwork.

Example:

“We’re docking starboard-side because of the ebbing tide. Does everyone feel comfortable with the plan?”

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10. Dealing with a Difficult Captain

If you encounter an angry, belittling, or uncommunicative captain, stay calm, set boundaries, and communicate assertively.

- Stay Centered – Respond with composure to keep control of the situation.

- Set Boundaries – If you feel disrespected, express your need for mutual respect.

- Ask for Clarification– If instructions are unclear, you are allowed to ask questions.

- Use “I” Statements – Frame your needs without placing blame to create a more open dialogue.

- Reinforce Teamwork- Remind everyone that collaboration leads to smoother sailing.

- If All Else Fails -

- Dial *16 from your cellphone – This connects you to maritime rescue services in Canada and some other regions.

- If using the VHF feels unsafe, consider using a marine safety app (like SafeTrx) to alert authorities.

- If you can reach your phone but not speak, send an emergency text or enable live location sharing.

Sailing is about more than just handling the boat—it’s about building confidence, trusting your instincts, and finding your voice on the water.

Step into your power, embrace challenges, and remember that you belong here.

You have every right to be on that boat, to learn, and to lead.